May, 31st 2011

There are fewer and fewer safe hiding places. Scientist are desperately trying to find a cure to the plague, but have still been unable to take any samples. All hopes of getting the initial autopsy reports are lost, the hospital and its neighboring blocks have been completely over run.

They keep on running the same announcement on all channels and stations: "keep a radio, flashlight, and spare batteries with you at all times, do not try to help those already bitten, and avoid zombies at all cost (duh)".

Their are rumors of scientist in japan coming close to a cure, but I have not heard anything factual yet.

May 29th, 2011

The State of California is still recovering from an attack by the spirit quenchers on the state house. Said California Local Nick Galloway: "These guys are really beginning to bum me out. ZEPPELIN RULES!!"

The funeral of Matthew Forbes was held today. Several followers of Fred Phelps picketed the funeral on the claim that Matthew Forbes' Death was punishment for his sins. Several people Counter-Picketed, Saying "YOU HAVE NO LIFE!" and "SHOULDN'T YOU BE WORRIED ABOUT THE ZOMBIES?"

Park Ranger Don Dunder is dead. He was a good friend of mine from Arizona. Moment of silence.

A Message From Founder

Hello, everyone.

I'm here to let you know we have added a new writer to the team. You all know Michael. He is now writing for us. And you can too!
No You can't.

Anyway, ZOMBIES RULE!!!

-G.L.

May 26th, 2011

Matthew Forbes has been shot down outside of the Brooklyn hospital his police team had tried to raid about a week earlier. Mr. Forbes is survived by his 2 daughters, his wife, and his cat. "He was an outstanding Chief" said Mayor Ryan Brown." We owe much to him."

David Okhuereigbe, the leader of the spirit quenchers, has been put on the FBI's top 10 most wanted list. He has been referred to by the authorities as Psychotic and is to be captured alive and brought to the proper authorities. Meanwhile the spirit quenchers have been recruiting members all across the nation. The main group of spirit quenchers is Roman Catholic men between the age of 35 and 78.

I am now in Montana. I'm not sure where because, similarly to when i was first out of Maryland, no one will tell me what city i am in. It's like they've forgotten.

May 25th, 2011

Sorry for not posting for so long but things out here have gone crazy out here! Almost a week and Forbes' Team has still not emerged, we lost contact with them 3 days after the start of the operation. They where last reported nearing the autopsy room where the records where kept after sustaining massive casualties.

Out here there is a cult forming calling themselves the "Spirit Quenchers". They believe that the so called "zombies" are demon possessed people. It was all the police could do to stop them charging the hospital with vials of holy water.

I'm sorry I can't say more, but I must be on the move, the Spirit Quenchers are using more and more violent ways of recruiting, strange how much fear can change people.

May 16th, 2011

In 18 hours, Matthew Forbes will be leading a heavily armed police force into the Brooklyn hospital holding the medical records of Christopher Bauer. "We're going full throttle this time" said Forbes.

Devin Steele, a construction worker from Zombie, UT says that the people from his city are facing great oppression from people who believe they are somehow tied to the zombie virus outbreak.

John Commins, the head of the LA police force says that the city is ready for anything that happens in the weeks to come. "All citizens are armed and ready for anything that might be happening".

I always thought Seattle would be a much cooler city. This is boring.

May 14th, 2011

I apologize for not posting for the past few days. I made it to California, where i thought my situation would improve, bu apparently i was mistaken. A helicopter crashed into the city's control tower. Power was knocked out for days.The Streets were filled with rabid people trying to kill each other.

Anyway: To the news!

Anthony Agwu was found dead outside of a Five Guys on Friday Morning. Said investigator Delmar Patterson, "The Murder was very brutal. In fact, we're pretty sure he was viciously tortured before he finally died."

Matthew Forbes announced that he has finally assembled a team to go in to the Brooklyn hospital that was holding Christopher Bauer's medical records. Apparently, they are bringing in Nuclear weapons this time.

May 10th, 2011

Matthew Forbes is conducting another police action to get Chris Bauer's medical records. "I don't know how to make this more successful. I need to think of something" said Forbes.

Yves Eisenberg has been found murdered in his lab. This is a major loss to the science community as he was investigating how the zombie virus could possibly be spread through the airwaves.

Michael Stevens emerged from the hospital causing a huge riot. Before he was shot down by the police, Stevens said one thing: "It's A Hoax! Sink The Ship!"

I just found out what a Google smash is. I hate these Stupid Perverts from Arizona.

May 9th, 2011

All men who have gone in to the Brooklyn hospital to find Christopher Bauer's medical records have been Infected except for police lieutenant Matthew Forbes.

Anthony Agwu has been kidnapped from his Missouri Jail Cell by angry men who want the formula to his "Zombie Specific Poison". Warden Rick Maury said "There isn't really Much to say. He was here, now he's not."

Andrew Lu, a Chinese man has reportedly been showing symptoms of the Zombie Virus. He is being sent to the U.S. tomorrow.

I'm in Tucson, AZ. What the heck is the Google Smash people keep blabbering about?

May 8th, 2011

The suicide rate has increased thirty percent since the zombie virus first broke out. Several people are reporting that they are having symptoms of depression after everything that has been happening since May 3rd, when Christopher Bauer broke out.

President Obama said this week that Americans need to stand together and help each other get through these tough times. Ironically, 15 minutes later, Obama and his whole family boarded a helicopter leaving the U.S. This brought anger among many republicans, especially former governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who say that the president is being a hypocritical coward. This is easy for him to say, because he lives in California, where the zombies have not yet spread to.

Yves Eisenberg, a scientist from Arlington, VA said this week that he believes the zombie virus could be transmitted through the airwaves as well as through actual contact. Let's hope not.

I'm in Bullet, TX. I picked up a Hitchhiker named Daniel Elmer. I checked, he had no weapons. He is a very nice guy who can cook better than me.

May 7th, 2011

It has been, roughly, 24 hours since a squadron of the Brooklyn police entered the hospital to retrieve the Christopher Bauer medical records from the morgue at which Mr. Bauer was receiving his autopsy. There is still no word yet from Matthew Forbes, the police lieutenant or from any more of the 9 officers who entered the hospital. This can't be good.

Anthony Agwu was Arrested by police officers at around 8:15 this morning on charges of fraud. The fraud of course being that there is no way Anthony Agwu could possibly have found a poison for the zombies since there have not yet been any zombie outbreaks in Switzerland.

Meanwhile, in D.C., the political vultures have been swarming in, with each party accusing the other of being responsible for the incident, which is ridiculous because no one could benefit from this.

I'm in Derry, Oklahoma now. There have been weird rednecks following me. Grrr.

May 6th, 2011

A Swiss scientist named Anthony Agwu has said that he has developed a specific poison designed specifically to work on zombies. "It is all very complicated" he said. "I made it when i was hiding out in my bunker."

A police force is attempting to retrieve Christopher Bauer's medical records from the hospital he escaped from on May 3rd. The team, organized by police chief Matthew Forbes, is highly equipped with Guns, Mace, Flamethrowers and knives. "We take our jobs very seriously" said Forbes. We need to recover the research Doctor Stevens made on Mr. Bauer. The Problem is, Stevens is still down there, with the research."

I just found out where i am: Buchanan, MO. It is completely abandoned, which is quite OK to me.

May 5th, 2011

And So It Begins.

I apologize for not posting for the past few days, but i have been extremely busy. As you may have heard, Christopher Bauer escaped from the Brooklyn hospital at which he was being held and has made his way to my home state of Maryland. Fearing for my life, i have fled from the state and off to somewhere different.

I can't tell you where i am right now, for both safety reasons and for the simple reason that i have no clue where i am. This is particularly troublesome because whenever i ask someone where i am, no one will tell me. They're getting on my last nerve.

Anyway, i'm still posting and providing information as best i can.

Happy Cinco De Mayo, which is spanish for drunk people day i guess. Weirdos.

May 2nd, 2011

A Quarantine has been put on the hospital holding Christopher Bauer, A Man who had died only 9 hours earlier, who had somehow sprang back to life and attacked Dr. Michael Stevens, who was performing the autopsy. "The Situation is spiraling out of control" Said Lieutenant Matthew Forbes, head of the Brooklyn Police Force. "What is the world to do in the wake of a zombie Apocalypse".

May 1st, 2011

Christopher Bauer, the man entered into the hospital for what appeared to be accelerated mad cow disease, has just died. He reportedly had a reaction to an antibiotic he was given during treatment. "We are very disappointed that we didn't learn as much about Mr. Bauer while he was still alive" said Dr. Stevens, the head doctor in charge of Mr. Bauer. "He had a very interesting case. I've never seen anything like it."

Autopsy results are to be released sometime tomorrow. Mr. Bauer is survived by his wife and children.

April 30th, 2011

Christopher Bauer, A man in Brooklyn, NY. was reported to a local hospital after he has shown signs of Mad Cow Disease. However, the condition of the man's disease seems to be accelerated over the 48 hours since he reportedly consumed what appears to have given him the disease in question. "The whole situation is very confusing" said Dr. Michael Stevens, the doctor in charge of the case. "We are keeping a very close eye on Mr. Bauer."